I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
