dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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