i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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