hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
