I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
