Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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