If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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