I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
