why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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