Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
