so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
