so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
