He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize