I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
