I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
