I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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