Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
