So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
