Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
