I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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