help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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