This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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