FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
