is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize