He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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