Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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