break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
