I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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