Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
