I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
