she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
