$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize