i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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