We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
