i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
