No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
