Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
