How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
