What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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