Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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