I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
