Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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