Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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