My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
