so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Blood and glitter go together right?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
