considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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