im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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