I have demons in me.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
