69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
