Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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