Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
