A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
