i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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