i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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