Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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