I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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