I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
home. puking in laundry basket.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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