im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
