My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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