Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
