Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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