you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize