The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
