How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
