dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize