i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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