We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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